Love, Mall Style

Girls all want to be loved. Sometimes I wonder whether that isn’t our perpetual goal in life – to find that one boy who will give us that incomparable feeling of being cared for and adored. Some people think this is because we’re the weaker sex. I disagree. In economics and finance, there exists this idea of hedging versus speculating. Boys spread their ambitions, if not equally, at least somewhat more evenly, among various interests – sports, careers, friends, and yes, girls. This is called diversification. By placing small “bets” on a variety of areas of life, boys are spreading their risk around, in effect, hedging. Girls, on the other hand, tend to gamble all their assets (or at least a very large portion of their assets) on one stake: love. This kind of zero-sum gambling is called speculation. In effect, girls may be dumber, but we’re also definitely braver.
In some ways, love is a lot like shopping. Girls and boys wander from one store to the next, trying things on, putting things on hold. Every time a girl tries a dress or a top or a pair of jeans on, she’s wondering whether this is the ONE, the perfect piece that completes her wardrobe. Sometimes, boys, like clothes, look better on the rack than they do on you. They may be more suited to someone else or they may be perfect on paper, but lack that special chemistry with you. Some boys would not merit even a second glance on the rack, but, once you put them on, complement your body perfectly. And, like clothes, boys come in and out of style and season – the lanky geek in high school could transform into a heart-throb in college while the smooth-talking b-boy becomes yesterday’s news.
Like shopping, it is possible to put individuals on hold in the game of love. After all, sometimes, a boy could work, but the girl’s not quite sold on him yet, she wants to see her other options first. So she tacitly tells him to wait; she tells him that she needs some time to make up her mind. But different boys, like different stores, have different policies about being put on hold. Some may refuse to be put on hold altogether, they think too much of themselves to agree to wait for anyone. Others may wait for a short while, but if you forget to return or lose track of time, they will eventually let themselves be bought by other girls. There are also the loyal boys, the ones that really adore you, who will wait and wait indefinitely for you to return. Yet, in an ironic twist, the boys that wait indefinitely are the ones that are never purchased. These loyal boys and patient girls are the clothes left on the rack long after their season and style has been pushed on by the relentless tides of fashion and time. If they are lucky, they may eventually be purchased on an extreme discount by someone looking for a cheap buy.
Each girl also has her own unique shopping style in the game of love. Some girls shop with purpose and decision; they know what style of boy suits them and what types of boys they are looking for. These girls are the veterans and are unlikely to settle for anybody less than who they are looking for. On the opposite end of the spectrum are the girls for whom the entire “shopping” experience is new. They are often nervous and stressed by the variety and confusion of the “mall of love” and either attempt to avoid the shopping altogether or blindly try on boys with no clear idea of what kind of boy suits them. Other girls are casual shoppers. These girls aren’t necessarily looking to buy, but they are window shopping for the fun of the experience and the off-chance that they may meet Mr. Right when they least expect it. Relatively happy where they are, the boy needs to be exceptional in order to convince them to shift away from a comfortable equilibrium. Yet another category of girls is the shop-a-holic. These girls are those girls with the resources, whether these resources are personality, talent, or appearance, to string along a large number of boys and the acquisitive instinct to wish to do so. In society, these girls are generally categorized as “sluts” or “flirts.” Finally, there are the girls who have become desperate. For these girls, the game of love is no longer comparable to the leisurely shopping that occurs at a mall. Instead, their shopping is the rushed, single-minded shopping that occurs at a grocery store. Shopping is no longer fun; it is now a chore, something that is to be gotten over with as quickly as possible.
As apt as the metaphor may be, comparing the game of love to shopping ignores the obvious two-sided nature of dating and relationships. In this respect, love becomes more like the process of haggling with the seller once the girl has decided on an article of clothing. This final step in the process can be the most exciting as well as the most stressful part for many girls (and boys too I’m sure). Instead of being the one sizing up and pulling apart the other party, the girl is now also being picked apart and analyzed. While this process is tinged with the tingling anticipation of hope, it is also frustrating to feel so powerless in the decision making process. The girl has made her offer and it is up to the boy to accept or reject it. Like in haggling, it can be helpful at this point of the process to feign a little bit of disinterest, to introduce some competition. But in the end, all the girl can do is sit back and attempt to look relaxed as the tables are turned and it’s the boy’s turn to do the shopping.